What I Learned From 2020

2020 started off with so much promise and vigor. The promise of a job, the excitement of a wedding, the restfulness before a big move. No one would have ever imagined where we would be in one overly-eventful and devastating year. 2020 tested all of us. No one taught us how to deal with a global pandemic and we had no clue how much would be affected by a virus. Every single business, organization, school, venue, park, and household was thrown into a complete tizzy in March of 2020.

The last normal thing I experienced was my coworkers throwing me a wedding shower. I was over the moon and never anticipated that I wouldn’t see my coworkers on Monday. I never thought I would be calling off my wedding or working from home indefinitely. I also never expected to lose my job two days after signing a lease in Nashville, TN. I wailed like a wounded animal after the zoom call that ended my time with my wonderful coworkers. Everything we had planned for our move had shattered in a second.

After calling my mom, dad, and husband I pulled myself back together and started making a new plan, because that’s really all you can do. I started to apply for jobs like a mad woman. I started to get interviews left and right, but what I figured out quickly was that I was not the only one that got laid off unexpectedly and was trying to find a new job as soon as possible. Rejection after rejection life got a little harder. Keeping the faith and hope was starting to hurt. When we moved I still hadn’t found a job so I started working part-time to make ends meet while still looking for a full-time job. I’m still in that position eight months later.

I’m not telling you my story for sympathy, but more to shed light on what has been happening during Covid. My story is far from unique and I’m sure many people have learned the same things as I have during the pandemic.

1. Absolutely nothing is set in stone. Your “plans” can change in the matter of a second. For someone with extreme anxiety, like myself, that is horrifying and debilitating. I had my moments where I felt like there was nothing I could control or do to help my situation, but I had to keep going to make some kind of progress. Just because plans change doesn’t mean everything you have worked towards is gone. You just have to find another way to make it work.

2. God has your back. When you feel like everything is falling apart God is always there and He will not make you bear more than you can handle. “Come Hell, high water, or apparently a global pandemic, I am going to marry you,” is what I told my husband. We looked at different outdoor, public spaces around town

and gave up after not finding anything that would work. We pulled into our apartment complex and looked over at the gazebo in front of the leasing office and it was like the clouds had parted. We hopped out of the car and we immediately knew this was the place. We called our officiant, my husband’s best friend, his wife, my parents and my husband’s parents. They were all on board for a small wedding in our apartment gazebo. The day of the wedding we got married in between two very strong thunderstorms. The clouds parted for 30 minutes at the exact time we were to be married. We laughed so hard because we had been put through the wringer and we finally caught a break. God said “You can have this. You’ve been through enough.”

3. Reflect. I have reflected so much because I had so much time to myself during quarantine. I reflected on what I want to do with my life and my career. After I lost my job I thought of it as a blessing in disguise. As much as I loved my co-workers, my job wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I sat down and really thought about what I could see myself doing. What sparked my interest and passions. I found out there a lot of things I am passionate about but I also learned specifically what I didn't want as well. I focused my job search and learned some new skills. Even though I am still looking, I’m confident I will find my dream job this year because of my reflection.

4. Live in the moment. Be spontaneous! Since our move we have been taking advantage of all the beautiful parks and hiking trails in Tennessee. It’s a glorious feeling to pack up for an adventure to a waterfall on a random Sunday when you had no plans anyways. Those moments give me clarity and peace. An escape from everyday life is necessary when you work from home most days or are quarantined for a long period of time. Just take a moment to yourself. Go watch a sunset, take a walk, sit on the porch, go to a park. Just enjoy the moment you are living.

5. Don't be afraid to ask for help. For someone who suffers with anxiety and many others without, I have noticed it is hard to ask for help. Whether it be for finding a job, someone to talk to about your hardships, or just a shoulder to cry on we all need to be more comfortable asking for help. I was very uncomfortable the first time I reached out to my LinkedIn network about help finding a job, but I was pleasantly surprised by all the great leads and support I received. Also, when I finally reached out to a medical professional about my anxiety, I burst into tears because I finally felt like I wasn’t alone and I could get some relief. My parents, fiancé, and coworkers were all so supportive with my diagnosis and they made me feel comfortable talking about it. Always ask for help. There are so many ready and willing to help in any way, shape, or form.